Is Criticism futile?

Dale Carnegie’s Claim

According to chapter 1 of Dale Carnegie’s book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, “criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself”.

He writes that no matter how certain we are that our criticism is valid and justified, we should make the, sometimes difficult, decision to holding back our criticism.

He adds that

1. Criticism doesn’t lead to a change of the situation you are trying to condemn
2. Criticism leads to resentment that can last a lifetime ( you can become part of someone’s core memory as the person who criticised them or made them feel ashamed)
3. Criticism can lead to demoralisation of the recipient
4. Criticism doesn’t lead to lasting change

So what should we do instead of criticise ?

He suggests the following

1. We should “try to understand them” and “try to figure out why they do what they do” because this “breeds sympathy, tolerance and kindness”
2. We should be more forgiving
3. We should reward good behaviour instead of criticising people.

Questions I had after reading chapter 1 of How to Win Friends and Influence People (Anyone with expertise in this area is welcome to answer)

1. Is criticism really futile? I’ve heard of so many situations where critism lead to positive change, so I guess critism works sometimes. So, how do we know which situations to use it?
2. Does the futility of criticism apply only to personal relationships or it extends to dealing with groups , public figures etcb?
3. Does public protest count as criticism?
4. What about situations where you need to express immediate disapproval? How do you handle such situations?

Please feel free to share ideas on how to handle situations that call for criticism without criticising. Thanks